How to handle bullying in self defense

Bullying is a very common problem and can leave devastating effects on the victim. If you are the victim of bullying then you are not alone. There are various forms of bullying and many people who suffer because of it. Hopefully, this self defense guide will help you deal with bullying with helpful resources and tips.

* Realize it's not your fault - The first step to dealing with bullying is that it's not your fault. There's nothing wrong with you that made you deserve to be bullied. Bullies tend to pick on those whom they suspect won't fight back because they are projecting their own insecurities. 

* Don't internalize bullying - Everything that a bully says or does to you says isn't about you. It's a bully acting out his or her internal issues. You might not be able to change your bully's behavior but you can change the way you respond to it. Don't take it personal. Focus on responding with a positive approach instead of delving in self-hate and negativity.         

* Use verbal assertiveness - Being verbally assertive can be a powerful method to getting a bully to stop his or her behavior. There's a huge difference between intimidation and being assertive. Intimidation involves verbal abuse and aggression while assertiveness involves confidently projecting your own viewpoint. Assertiveness demonstrates confidence whereas intimidation does not. Being assertive means standing up for yourself without being aggressive. Demand with confidence and a loud voice words such as "stop!" or "no!" when confronted by a bully.    

* Use non-complementary behavior - The bully will likely use verbal insults, teasing, taunts, mockery, intimidation, etc. to get you to react either in fear or submission. Don't give the bully what he or she wants. Learn how to project confidence in your body language and tone of voice without being submissive or aggressive. Show the bully that you are unaffected by him or her. Engage in behavior that your bully won't expect. 

* Use genuine empathy and listening skills - Be empathetic and express understanding. Chances are the bully is trying to communicate to you in an unhealthy manner. If you want to learn more on how to do that, check out my post "Psychological defense against violent intimidation" (http://everythingselfdefense.blogspot.com/2017/01/psychological-defense-against-violent.html), "how to defuse a fight before it starts in self defense.." (http://everythingselfdefense.blogspot.com/2017/04/how-to-defuse-fight-before-it-starts-in.html), and "how to defend yourself against verbal insults" (http://everythingselfdefense.blogspot.com/2017/01/how-to-defend-yourself-against-insults.html). Practice these skills in the face of verbal abuse from your bully. Don't however make it your responsibility to "save" the bully as your efforts will likely fail because the bully will not want help.  

* Don't engage in violence - Some people like to resolve bullying by engaging in fights after years of verbal abuse. This is often the wrong response. When you are being verbally abused, you should already use verbal self defense to respond then and there. You should not let negative emotions build up until the last minute or you may end up expressing them violently. The consequences of fighting include school suspension or getting beaten by a bully who may be more violent than you. The bully may have weapons or come back with multiple attackers. Violence should be your only last resort when you are being attacked. 

* Get support - Get friends, family, and trusted adults to help you. Never travel alone where you are put one on one with a bully. Having a good support system will give you confidence in dealing with bullying. Bullies hate it when someone has a support system because they tend to target those who are isolated from others. Once you get others involved, the bully will lose power and may leave you alone. Report the bullying to the authorities. 

* Use physical self defense as a last resort - If the bully decides he or she is going to attack you no matter what, you'll need to defend yourself physically. You'll need to be good at reading hostile body language and see an attack coming before you land a knock out hit. If you want to learn more, read "how to end street fights FAST" (http://everythingselfdefense.blogspot.com/2017/01/how-to-end-street-fights-fast.html) and "how to fight multiple opponents" (http://everythingselfdefense.blogspot.com/2016/12/how-to-fight-multiple-opponents.html). Remember to use the environment to your advantage.            

* Practice self love - Probably one of the most powerful principles in dealing with bullying is engaging in self love. Remind yourself everyday of your strengths and love your imperfections. Bullies will try to change the way you view yourself. If you practice loving yourself on a daily basis, you remove the bully's power and gain confidence in yourself.  

If you enjoyed this post, subscribe to my blog for updates, more advice, and exclusive content in the near future. I'm proud and excited to offer a FREE sample chapter of my E-book "Jeet Kune Do: How to build your own fighting system for self defense!" It's essentially a step-by-step guide on how to make your own self defense system suited to fit your own needs using Jeet Kune Do. If you would love to receive your FREE chapter of my e-book, click on the link below and share a post via. social media then it's yours for FREE! Be sure to also fill out the survey on the right and provide feedback on my blog. Leave questions, comments, and suggestions below.

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What is Everything Self Defense?

In this blog post, i will provide you with some background on who i am and why i started this blog.

Since i was a child, i was always interested in the subject of self defense. I've come up with plans on what to do if there was a home intruder and how i'd defend the family with improvised weapons. I was introduced to martial arts through films such as Bruce Lee's "Enter the Dragon", "Way of the Dragon", Jackie Chan's "drunken master", among other films. To top it off, my brother was a Karate student so he taught me a bit on Karate. Since then, i studied many different martial arts every now and then. One of the things that inspired me to learn hand to hand combat was watching two of my friends engage in a street fight with each other one night. It started when they agreed to duel each other so we all gathered around them in a church parking lot. Both agreed that whoever gets knocked down first is declared the loser of the fight. From the time the fight began, i was surprised to see how well both fought. They both seemed to have an understanding of how to street fight. Both landed several punches then retreated. Both landed many kicks to the midsection but they tensed their albs in order to absorb the impact. Finally, one of my friends fell over by accident after a kick and lost. I was eager to get in the fight but one of my other friends said "no he's too little."  

I've had a bunch of sparring sessions with friends and family. We'd engage in fist fights light contact sparring and such. With family, someone would almost always get hurt so we had to stop completely. With friends, i remember engaging in a duel using weapons. I had a small piece of paper shaped into a sword and he had a piece of metal serving as a switch. He cut my legs up a couple of times but i gave him several paper cuts on his hands and fingers. My mom was very upset on the aftermath of the fight. I've also had a sparring session with two of my friends in school where it was a two on one. I can remember slamming one into the chair and trying to attack the other one. My teacher came to break up the sparring session.

I've got into watching shows like "Samurai Jack", "24", and other films. Just seeing how well they adapted to every situation made a huge impact on how i saw not just martial arts but combat in general. I'd ask my older brother questions on how deal with a particular violent situation at the age of 13. I was already coming up with certain ways to defend myself. I didn't retaliate even after being hit by several kids in school. I didn't want the situation to escalate into further conflict and chose not to respond or to avoid the situation all together.

There's several more darker experiences leading me to the self defense world such as anger issues and family. I've never been in a street fight with friends or strangers because i didn't see the need for it. I've never had that deep of a problem where i needed to resort to violence against friends or strangers. I did have several fights break out between me and family. Violence was at one point a way of expressing my anger and frustrations. Sometimes, it was done out of self defense. When my older brother scared me, i can recall one incident where i attacked him by swinging wild punches and i had to be restrained. When i saw my mother beating my sister with a switch, i intervened by landing several kicks (one which split her lip in two). I received a beating in the process. I was also violent towards my abusive father. Bullying also had a negative effect on me growing up. Child abuse, bullying, and getting robbed all these dark experiences built rage up within me among other negative effects. That was the driving force in learning self defense.

I began learning and practicing Wing Chun in 2013 among other martial arts. I realized i had several deep insights in self defense and i wanted to share them with people which is why i started this blog. What makes this blog unique? It teaches simple self defense principles as opposed to techniques and demonstrations. I realized that many martial arts schools and some self defense schools have unrealistic training methods to dealing with violent situations in the street. This is because they don't seek to understand the criminal mindset. Another reason why i don't teach techniques is because what works best for one person may not work for another person. I'm against traditional standardized education because there's so many variables in combat that it's not possible to teach them all in one set of curriculum. I post links that help me personally but i encourage everyone to find the answers to their own questions using the principles i advise. I put a strong emphasis on open-mindedness and look for new ideas while challenging old ones.

What mainly sets this blog apart is the emphasis on dealing with every possible violent situation in self defense. While your average self defense school may teach basic self defense on the street, i inspire people to adapt to every possible situation. Whether it's your average street attacker regardless of size or skill, expected or unexpected attacks, multiple attackers, armed criminals, animals, active shooters, suicide bombers, etc. - strive to persevere your own life at your highest potential. I also tend to give advice on other topics such as situational awareness, conflict resolution, weapons, diffusion, verbal self defense, training, psychology, the list goes on. My goal is to teach people effective self defense by providing a few solutions to many problems. The purpose in all of my posts is to teach people to never surrender when it comes to saving their own lives.

I hope to reach my goals and provide you with insights on how to defend yourself to your uttermost potential.

If you enjoyed this post, subscribe to my blog for updates, more advice, and exclusive content in the near future. I'm proud and excited to offer a FREE sample chapter of my E-book "Jeet Kune Do: How to build your own fighting system for self defense!" It's essentially a step-by-step guide on how to make your own self defense system suited to fit your own needs using Jeet Kune Do. If you would love to receive your FREE chapter of my e-book, click on the link below and share a post via. social media then it's yours for FREE! Be sure to also fill out the survey on the right and provide feedback on my blog. Leave questions, comments, and suggestions below.

http://www.paywithapost.de/pay?id=7b715806-c78b-4bfd-badf-4242da2bf8f2